Frozen
I spent months trying to understand, trying desperately to love. At first, thinking I might be in love with you, but it felt like I was drowning, the water was warm so it almost felt cold not at all enjoyable. But then, you said, "Please, give us a try", and it was like the warm water turned to ice and lungs started to jam up and I couldn't breathe. I was struggling, kicking, failing to get to the top, because my heart felt dead. My limbs felt frozen in place, and I have no clue how I reached the surface. But I did, and the first breath I took was so painful, and the second, and the third. Eventually, I could hold myself up but I was still shivering for a while, even after I dragged myself out of that water. I spent 6 months, trying desperately to pull myself up, I was frozen all over. Though you’re on the other side of the world, you keep coming back, keep torturing me, keep winding me up. I realize I can’t pretend that you mean anything to me, I can't...