Life is Irrecoverably Wasted ...

I knew you weren't going to be here forever, or even close. We were just friends, and then we had a fling, and then we were together, and then I lied and we broke up. I’m here. I’m waiting. I’ll keep trying. I don't think things with us will ever start up again, but I do believe that there is hope for friendship.

"The are moments that mark your life, moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same. And time is divided into two part, before this and after this."  And then you feel butterflies coming to you and making your stomach their new home. And then you feel excitement and amazement in single thing you see, you embrace the air around you, because as you breath you breath differently, because as you close your eyes you still can see the world around you, because as you speak, you speak as you would love the world you live in. There is no buts. As you create your new world, you invite only goodness and greatness. You know you are growing better and richer. You know that the old world and the old you is the past. As you mark the thick line between your two worlds, you define each of them, what's important you consciously define yourself from the beginning. I've heard that we are born twice. The second time when we choose the world we live in. Have...

"Love can be hard.  Love requires you to be kind when you are angry,  patient when you feel anxious,  compassionate when you judge others,  caring when you feel apathetic,  trust when you've been wronged,  let go when you want to hold on,  know that the other person is you,  take risks when you're scared,  to always see the lesson  and never look back once you've decided."

Cold as ice And more bitter than a December Winter night That's how I treated you And I know that I I sometimes tend to loose my temper And I cross the line Yeah that's the truth I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say Coz if I wanted to go I woulda gone by now but I really need you near me To keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I woulda left by now But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself All along I tried to pretend it didn't matter If I was alone Deep down I know If you were gone For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn Coz I'm lost without you I get kind of dark Let it go to far I can be obnoxious at times But try and see my heart Cause I need you now So don't let me down You are the only thing in this world I would die without

There's something special about a new year. A fresh start. 365 brand new days for you to become whatever it is you want to become. These past 365 days taught me more than I could have ever hoped to learn. Some lessons were harder than others, but with the close of 2011, I can honestly say I am a stronger person, because of this year's experiences. This year, I learned that we don't have to settle.  Our lives?  We can control them. We can change our own path. We have will and we have ways.  We have the power to achieve happiness and to see beauty in darkness.  I learned that mean people are the ones that need kindness most. And no matter what anybody tells you, you're beautiful and worth it.  And most importantly, you deserve love and to be happy. I've learned that there will always be people with unkind things to say. There will always be hate, envy, and greed in this world. But there will also always be love and beauty and ki...

I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up, yet it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself- as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I guess that lack itself is as close as I’ll come to define myself.

‎My heart is drumming in my chest so hard it aches, but it’s the good kind of ache, like the feeling you get on the first real day of autumn, when the air is crisp and the leaves are all flaring at the edges and the wind smells just vaguely of smoke - like the end and the beginning of something all at once