Life is Irrecoverably Wasted ...

Dissed, dumped, kicked to the curb, scorned, spurned, and jilted. Whatever your preference is to describe the concept, if you’ve ever been burned, then you are already acutely aware of how it feels. But what is rejection at its fundamental core but an opportunity to accept your reality as it really is instead of how you prefer it to be? Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to sugar-coat and/or gloss over the very real, psychologically debilitating effects some suffer at the hands of another. Rejection can have a profoundly negative impact on your self-esteem and outlook, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Depending on how you handle it, rejection can actually help to retain your dignity because it puts into perspective for you exactly what you would have realized on your own but for the involvement of your heart. If ever there was a more all-encompassing vehicle with which we use to blindside ourselves, and, otherwise sabotage our emotional well-being, I ca...

Good Morning Tuesday, Yes I look forward to you the entire week and then you come and drown me in weird feelings and moments. This week has been full of dilemmas. My mom asked me "where are you headed with life? are you not going to get married?" Funny question I told her and also said, "Do you see me with a man? Why are you popping such a question?" She looks at me and says, "then get a woman!" I burst out laughing, "Where do they sell woman, just tell me and I shall go and get her!" She makes that frowning face that makes me week in my knees. She adds further, "Dear do something, you will be 28 and you are still single, it isn't right!" "Yes mom I know but what should I do? Advertise it on a billboard? make a TVC and air it on every channel? Post it on every day newspaper as headlines? What? How far do you think I haven't been in this search for a partner for me? Can't we just forget that I have to ge...

If I seem distant, baby I am Words are like scissors, in your hands And there's no script to follow, so I just close my eyes That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye I feel just like an actress, up on the stage I can't believe, what I'm hearing myself say And a porch light is my spotlight, so I play along with this lie That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye Did you ever love me? Does it even matter? Did you even notice, the whole world shatter? I just want to hold you, and tell you that I'm sorry But I just keep it all inside That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye My heart feels like a circus It's too much to take in It's hard to lose a love But you were my best friend So walk this high wire, alone tonight That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye

I once thought of you and me as two people trapped in a room full of people, looking for someone to fill something that was missing in our lives. Something that one found in the other. And then there was this glass wall between us that can’t be broken because .. it was just there. Maybe because we didn’t try. To say that the love wasn’t enough would be an insult to what we had. No matter what, the glass wall was bigger than the two people longing for each other on either side. And we were but, two people forever fated to watch. And wish. And now, I see you disappearing into the crowd, away, never to be found again, and it hits me with a force of a million bricks. The fact that I can’t lose myself into the crowd, because always, always, I will keep coming back to this place where I saw you last. Because I will keep returning, hoping to find you here. Hoping to see you behind the glass wall, still away from touching you. But seeing you. The thin thread that keeps me from go...

A Sunday morning and I am yawning. I lay awake on my bed last night. Crying, thinking, pondering and shredding the remains. I spoke to Almighty. He wasn’t speaking to me. When I was little I wanted to grow up and help people. I always wanted to be the answer to everyone's problems and questions, like how to solve their marriage, or patch up their relationship, or mend their broken hearts. I used to dream that I would solve the puzzles of everyday life and know exactly what is needed to be done. I used to think that any thing could be solved with enough patience and know how and I did manage quite a lot when I was on track. And now I think I dreamt all of that because I can't make sense of my own life, it is in utter chaos and I cant find answers to almost anything at all. ***** It's funny how little things in life can make you smile, and laugh, and throw out your arms to fly and yet instantly there will be a disgusting moment from which you ll take ages to ...

There were moments of insanity there were moments of frustration there were paths that were painful there were points of no return. I've been on one way lanes where I couldn't turn around I've stood on edges of cliffs where there were valleys deep down. I've walked on barren lands trying to find the horizon when I looked around for water all I found was.... poison. I've slept underneath the stars and I've also borne the rain I've withstood the scorching heat In return I got more pain. There were times I thought in an ocean I would drown But He dragged me to the shore, turned to smiles, my frown. He revived me when I stopped breathing He consoled me when I cried. when fears lead my way, I let Him be my guide I've been through hell and back I've seen the darkest hour Still i saw rays of hope And felt His miraculous power. Let fate have the last laugh today let it taunt, let it mock But one day I'll rise from the ashes a...

What more wrongs could there be? What more reasons for the anguish and agony? What more hurts can I bruise you with? What more lies can I utter in silence to you? …I was loving the ride you took me on Until you marched right in to bring me down …I still stay up praying for us to meet again … It won’t stop until eternity calls us to a bonded terrain What more good my prayers do for you? What more do the night in the gloom have to show? What more can you whisper to erode my silent thoughts? What more can you love of me and my remains? … I shout out loud amidst the noises all around While the dream of your nearness embraces me on …I call unto God a prayer asking of only you Other times I am dreaming for a dawn brand new What more wrongs can I do? What more expressions can I show? What more beginnings can I believe in? When not even my words cast a spell upon you? All I want is for you and me to be together again.. I miss my friend, my morning...