Life is Irrecoverably Wasted ...

I hear the ticking of the clock I'm lying here the room's pitch dark I wonder where you are tonight No answer on the telephone And the night goes by so very slow Oh I hope that it won't end though Alone Till now I always got by on my own I never really cared until I met you And now it chills me to the bone How do I get you alone You don't know how long I have wanted To touch your lips and hold you tight, oh You don't know how long I have waited and I was going to tell you tonight But the secret is still my own and my love for you is still unknown Alone Till now I always got by on my own I never really cared until I met you And now it chills me to the bone How do I get you alone

This whole “life” thing just flies left right center and doesn’t make sense to me. Sometimes I can go on listening to some song and it doesn’t even have words that could hit 'tick on or off' button of my system and the next minute I know, it makes me want to cry, not out of sadness, but just because I feel incredibly down and gloomy and totally dramatic. I have this incredible connection with songs and lyrics. Some people might think it is crazy but more than the language, the voice and the music touched some chord of my soul and I overflow with an ambition . This may be a distraction, and very uncalled for but it is mandatory, it speaks of something I am yet to decipher. I want to learn about what life is, what my life has which is so powered with things around me. I can associate to a lot of everything and sometimes, even if there is a connection, I can feel none. Sometimes I say life is love. Maybe it is my mad self tutoring which has cornered me this way....

Incompatible, it don’t matter though ‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry Speak out if you do You’re not easy to find Is it possible Mr. Lovable Is already in my life? Right in front of me Or maybe you’re in disguise Who doesn’t long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I’m on my own If there’s a soulmate for everyone Here we are again, circles never end How do I find the perfect fit There’s enough for everyone But I’m still waiting in line Who doesn’t long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I’m on my own If there’s a soulmate for everyone If there’s a soulmate for everyone Most relationships seem so transitory They’re all good but not the permanent one

Turn down the lights Turn down the bed Turn down these voices inside my head Lay down with Me tell me no lies Just hold me close Don't patronize  Cause I can't make you love me if you don't And you can't make your heart feel something it won't Here in the dark In these final hours I will lay down my heart And I'll feel the power But you won't, no you won't Cause I can't make you love me If you don't I'll close my eyes then I won't see The love you don't feel When you're holding me Morning will come And I'll do what's right Just give me till then To give up this fight And I will give up this fight Cause I can't make you love me if you don't You can't make your heart feel something it won't  Here in the dark In these final hours I will lay down my heart And I'll feel the power But you won't, no you won't Cause I can't make ...

How can I say when I knew I fell in love with you? It took me by surprise. Was it possible to fall in love with someone the same sex as I? Maybe I knew when I woke up in the morning and my first thoughts would be of you Maybe I knew when the first snow fell and all I could think of was if you were here I'd throw a snowball at you :) Maybe I knew when I was down by the lake looking at the boats and the couples and wishing so badly that we were them that I started crying Our love will never be But at least I got the chance to know you and to have your arms around me even if it was only as your estranged 'friend'

Dreamland awaits you, Close your eyes, Imagine you and I, Close as breath, Skin upon skin, Lips touching, Your lips taste of Raspberries, sweetly irresistible, The fragrance of you, Takes my breath away, I am burning inside, A torch of fire, Burning fuel of passion, For you are my desire, My heart beats with every breath, You are my destiny, Your eyes evade me, deep, dark, mysterious, I am your slave, Your love has captured me, Grab my body, Pull me close, Show me your love, In ways I could only dream. ..... Wake me I must be dreaming, This is a fairytale.                                 

My Heart has you always on its Mind,  but my mind doesn't have the  Heart to tell you..