Life is Irrecoverably Wasted ...

My fingers have been itching to type!!! Anyways, not sure if it’s the same for everyone, but it seems like time accelerates as we age – 2008 sure passed in a blur for me! Some of us tend to reflect and ponder at this time of year… What lessons have we learned? What are the things we need to improve on? How can we make 2009 a better and rewarding year? I’m sure we all have a list of things we want or need to do! But now back to year 2008… The Good I’m so glad I traveled to a few places this year. I’m grateful for the new experiences. I hope to be able to explore more next year! (Gotta fill up my new travel scrap book hehe) The Unexpected Surprise I think that the most profound thing I discovered this year would be the new experiences that brought me to a world I never even knew existed. It awakened my soul, opened up my heart and made me feel things beyond what I knew possible. Thought I’ve been there…Thought I’ve done that… But I was so-so wrong! The Lesson Sometimes thin...

I may look normal, but deep down I wanna be an Octopus so I can slap eight people at once. 🐙

I spent months trying to understand, trying desperately to love. At first, thinking I might be in love with you, but it felt like I was drowning, the water was warm so it almost felt cold not at all enjoyable. But then, you said, "Please, give us a try", and it was like the warm water turned to ice and lungs started to jam up and I couldn't breathe. I was struggling, kicking, failing to get to the top, because my heart felt dead. My limbs felt frozen in place, and I have no clue how I reached the surface. But I did, and the first breath I took was so painful, and the second, and the third. Eventually, I could hold myself up but I was still shivering for a while, even after I dragged myself out of that water. I spent 6 months, trying desperately to pull myself up, I was frozen all over. Though you’re on the other side of the world, you keep coming back, keep torturing me, keep winding me up. I realize I can’t pretend that you mean anything to me, I can't...

It’s when I’m sitting in a room all alone yet so close to you that I scream I love you. I am never full of words when I want to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just drag you out of my dream and make you a reality, and that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m in bed tucking myself to sleep that you instantly pop into my head and I grab my phone to dial to you but I hang up because I don’t want to give my self away to the thought that you might not pick up and and if you do you might be thinking "Who the hell are am I and why the heck am I calling you so late?" scares the shit out of me!. I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight and smooch you. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me. And yes I wish you wo...

She came into my life and I was gliding through sky, She did some cute things and made those butterflies fly. I always cared for her and wanted her to be beside me, Always loved her and used to think what she feels for me. I always wanted to tell her how much I cared and love her, But just stopped before making the final stir.. But soon I realized that it’s me, who loves her and not her, She always took me as a friend; it was I who was in fuzz.. Now she is now gone; happy and content, But who am I kidding; it was I who went to that extent.. But soon I realized this is so close to the life, When will I tell her I always wanted her to be my life..? I love her with my whole heart feeling every single pain she had, But when will I go and tell her about the feeling that I have..? With this question intriguing me in my life, Now I learn to get over this mental strife.. It made me realize that one has to just go and tell, How you feel, you have to go and break the spell . . . But wil...

I am only me, that is all that I can be No more, no less, don’t second guess I love, I laugh, I live and cry, I’ve wished at times, that I could die Some days I’m funny, others I’m not, sometimes I’m in overdrive and can’t stop I am a loyal and honest friend, You know that I’ll be there until the end I am a romantic, sensual, and passionate too, to the love of my life, I’ll share this with you I can be sweet and shy or sassy and bold, I’m quite a handful, or so I’ve been told I am not perfect, I do have my faults, like when I get scared I put up high walls Or I’m not as forgiving, as I’d sometimes like to be, because when I hurt, I hurt deeply My logic is all my own, at times misunderstood, because I don’t always do things for my own good I have many facets, like a diamond you see… I am only me.

This ongoing endless need for the little things in life … ahhh my love I open my heart and all the little things you shall find…. As I sit back and try to comprehend the life of another soul, of another woman, of another heart in need of endless love … I can’t quite take it all in … but within what I do see, its only the simple little things this woman has grown so accustom to feeling the need or desire for … was it me, the fairy who was sent to fill those needs … even though we sleep the days in between … I will be there to kiss you when your waking, to kiss you as you come and cradle you as you lie sleeping and dreaming of the day we find our secret garden … and yet the fairy also sees much pain … so much unleashed love to be given … ahhhh if only my head could rest against you dear … if only I could smell the scent of your skin … the taste of your nectar and the essence of your soul … these things we dream of how wonderful they can be … But always remember this my love … I am a...