You can never go back.

We are so quick to judge other people’s life choices, aren’t we? If someone’s choices don’t align with the ones we make ourselves, we immediately get boldfaced about it, we act shocked and worried and like things would be so much better had they thought twice about what they did. We worry about their future regrets and all the bad that might come to them.
When someone gets married young, at what we call the ‘ripe age of…’ and insert any number under the age of 25, we get so shocked. We fear that they are throwing their lives away, that they are making a huge mistake in choosing love at such a young age. We pull out statistics, call them stupid and ignorant, regardless of the fact that we are acting the same way by judging them so. Some say: They haven’t even really lived yet, why are they condemning themselves to this marriage? We put our own regrets and the mistakes we’ve made onto others.
This weekend I met someone who is 35 and unmarried with no relationship prospects, and I took the liberty of commending her on her singledom – as if she was so brave and so courageous in this lifestyle of hers. As soon as I said it I felt like an idiot – if I were single, would I want to be commended on being single? Really? Would it embarrass me or anger me? At the time, I laughed it off as a joke, and hopefully she didn’t take it seriously, but it made me think twice about what comes out of my mouth. About what could potentially hurt someone.
People find out I’ve been with J for almost 10 years, and they just shake their head. His mother says she wouldn’t do half of what I do for him, and that she wouldn’t do it for any man – and what am I to say? I shrug it off and think, sure, not everyone would sew his jeans up or make his favourite dinners or do so much laundry – but I do, and I love doing everything I do for him. Is that bad? According to his mom, yes – one should never put their man before themselves – I suppose it’s a rule of hers, but I don’t apply it in my life.
Even when we are the ones making our choices, we often worry about what others think – married too young or too old? children too late, too little or too many? single too long or not willing to settle?
There are pros and cons to every choice, but once those choices are made no further judgment should follow. That person has adjusted their coloums of pros and cons to please themselves and that was it – that’s final. Once life is done, it’s done. You can never go back, you can only go forward, and hopefully only in a positive manner.
Can’t we just wish everyone well, admire their choices and get on with our lives?