Wish I Were Weak..
It's amazing how we always tend to be mistaken in people. Nothing in life is as it seems. From all the dozens of people you come across in life, there will be hardly a few who are honest, loyal and true to you in all kind of situations. And even these few might crash your belief in friendship, mutual understanding and caring.
Imagine when you are friends with someone for long, know each other's good and bad sides, believe that nothing would ever change. And then suddenly everything does change. You don't even notice, don't understand and more than that... you don't believe it is happening to you.
One day you were the best friends and the other you are ignored, abandoned, left alone. The funniest thing is when you confront them, they would tell you nothing has changed, they are the same and they care the same way. And if they seemed to be away from your life, then that's for your own good, to make you stronger...
I for one don't want to get stronger this way. But despite this I am becoming stronger thanks to them, stronger in a sense that I am getting used to their ignorance, their permanent not-being-there-when-I-need-them.
That is not "becoming stronger" I wished for, that is not how I have seen our friendship, that was not supposed to happen with me. But it did.
Funny... when I ask questions I get smart answers...
The answers that are supposed to explain everything...
The answers that should make me feel better...
The answers which I don't want... because they are a lie.
It is easier to believe some things because they are what we want to hear. It takes a lot of courage and strength to look beyond those words and see the truth. The truth spoken by actions. I don't ask people to tell me they love me and care.
I don't believe words anymore.
I have got strength to accept the truth of people's actions.
The strength I have not asked for.
The strength I don't want to.
The strength I have to live with now.
Every day of my life.
Wish I were weak...
I've been told they haven't changed, that they still care, that they are away for my own good. I'm not really certain if I'm really happy with becoming "strong" this way. But yea, I'm now used to not having them around anymore when i need it.
ReplyDeleteTell you what... it's THEIR loss. Poor people!
Btw, im new to your blogs.. got the link from a friend.. and im so loving everything on it!!
The Dragon sounds like such a sexy romantic person! Wish you and the Dragon all the best!
I Love these..
http://intoxicatedladybutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/06/when-i-thought-about-you_04.html
http://intoxicatedladybutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/06/40-things-i-forgot-to-tell-you.html
ur write ups always touch a chord with me. :)
ReplyDeleteI know what u're saying there! I m struck in almost the same circumstances...
ReplyDeleteI know it is heartbreaking when people close to u lie to u,looking straight in your eye.They know they are lying and somehow even u know they're nit telling u the truth but it hardly matters as these people have decided to move on with a bunch of lies and that trust does not remain any longer.
It really is sad.:(
Take care dear...Hope u find strength in ur own way>:D<
its happens almost all the time with almost everyone , but when it does happen to us, we are all why-must-this-happen-too-me. but then, the people who ignore you would be ignored by someone else too, right.
ReplyDeletehowever, that wouldn't make it easier for us to accept.
good luck sweetie, take care!
:( I so know that. I am going through days but now I have settled my peace with it. Their loss!!
ReplyDelete:-)
P.S. I love every word you write.
You know you always write posts that seem to write our stories, our emotions. I no longer believe in the last "F" in BFF. Don't know Forever exists anywhere...
ReplyDeletei like this place and i hope u keep writing here...
ReplyDeleteBTW i have lost a few close ones.And i guess it was my fault too.
hugs n tc
let it be like that..things will pass on..
ReplyDeletevery well written
Nothing lasts forever. So why expect forever to last at all!
ReplyDelete*smiles*
I always wonder y people change all of a sudden ,, it definitely hits u but then i tell myself tat maybe itz good it happened now,, thn even more later wen it wud have hurt even more..!!!!
ReplyDeleteItzz truly their loss !!!
Glad that you are writing here, as I tried 2wice before to comment in your new blog, but could not. Pity. :(
ReplyDeleteAbout your post, well, as usual great, grrrrreat, and you can be a professional counselor of Life for all of us.
Well, the best thing for me would be to shut myself in side my room , dim the lights and dissolve myself in music. Nothing can beat that. My entire life would be over and yet I am sure the vastness of music would not fully absorb in me. It's too vast.
Take care and well, pls check my blog.
:)
Hey ladyb,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Its true, that nothing in life is as it seems. We at times think that WE know a person best but then they fail us! See it as their loss. Not yours. You only learn something significant with each such episode. And more often than not, its the things that we never ask for which in the end serve to make us stronger. And the stronger, the better :)
Take care dear!