Beautifully Messy

I haven't written in the longest time of my time here. My body is aching in pain and itches.. It is incredible as well as infuriating.

You promised me this is love which I blindly allowed my soul to let in.

Funny how you called me 10 times a day and I wondered why I was getting so lucky without working moving a muscle for it.

You sent me one-liners with hugs, smooches and mush and everything that could make my blood rush.


You said no one could ever own me because you had me bound in a spell that kept all men at bay just wanting to look but not touch.


My heart always throbbed a little faster, everytime you called just to say 'I miss you!' 'I want to make love to you right now!'

Life would became beautiful and meaningful once you put a diamond ring on my finger.

Before we came together we were looking for love in unlikely places.

We talked about it with each other but never saw the common grounds we touched base.

I wrote to you with my heart and never read back on the words I'd sent to you, never asking you to write anything of the sort to me.


It was a one way deal, we were breathing dust which tasted like bad intentions and guilty consciences from the very start.

I'm stuck searching the shelves for self help books or my inbox for letters you'll send me filled with apologies or anything to end this unwanted silence.


This isn't beautiful. no this isn't even close, this is a mess.

My name you always pronounced like a lullaby which made me moan every time you'd stretch on it.

In your mouth it blended perfectly with your tongue and taste, especially when you called me with your name in the end.


You stole my heart without setting the alarm off and how you did I still wonder about.

It's odd how you forgot to say I love you a week ago for the first time.

I asked for it first and I got used to the taste, like the salt in the sea makes familiar with taste buds.

My name feels like the sea breeze blowing in my ears when you pronounce it with so much love.

You say you like the taste of me without touching me you made me blush.

I had started to stay red and then I noticed your lips bleed, I remember how they bled the first time...


You lied to me.

Lately your lips have been stained red and there is no regret I see on your face.

I asked you more than once and invaded your privacy to know the answers you weren't and will never give me.

I found nothing to spin my pieces together again.


I am a scratched glass with a fractured surface, the wound doesn't show but the slightest touch shall shatter me.

My heart I wonder will ever be warm again without your honesty entwined inbetween them.


The cyclone was coming to my city but you sent it right into my life with the winds swirling me out of balance.

In just a week we've pulled apart by reasons I am uncertain about.

The winds tried crashing us into one another to patch us up, again and again but your silence has eroded the edges that once used to fit.

Now you can breathe ice from your frosty heart and frozen lungs like cigarette smoke engulfing me in past regrets and bad choices.

As if i am...


the biggest mistake of your life.