In Love ? Jealous Or Suspicious?

Love is PATIENT, love is KIND. It does not ENVY, it does not BOAST, it is not PROUD. It is not RUDE, it is not SELF-SEEKING, it is not easily ANGERED, it keeps no record of WRONGS. Love does not delight in EVIL but rejoices with the TRUTH. It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

LOVE DOES NOT ENVY.

Jealousy is an illness and should be treated as such, but how would one treat the manifestation of an underlying cause? Well the cause of jealousy is lack of self worth. That’s right. You have let your self esteem go. How did you allow this jealousy to happen to you? It wasn’t a sudden thing. Jealousy creeps up on you and soon you give more value to the one you love than to yourself. You think your life can’t exist without him/her. Well it usually starts out with that first wham bang, thank you ma’am fit of passionate sex, where you lose your own identity into the loved one’s identity. It’s as simple as that. You didn’t even know it was happening. What you did know was that exhilarating experience of bliss, during which you completely lost your own identity and merged in with another. It was heaven. You got away from your self entirely, didn’t you? But alas, you got trapped, and without thinking about it, wanted more and more of this immersion into the other (it isn’t so much about sex you know, it is about experiencing bliss while losing your own identity in the other). It is always unfortunate when it happens to just one of the parties and not the other. The one left untouched by this blissful experience can appear to be aloof and not so attached to you as you are to them. When you see them go off, or perhaps flirt with someone else, you feel your attachment being weakened. The threat of not being united again in that person is a dark hole indeed. Jealousy is always the threat of losing the person you have become attached to. You mistake this unique experience of immersion for love. You mistake jealousy for love. The fear of losing your loved one becomes all the more immanent because jealousy drives other people away. Jealousy causes pain to both you and your heart’s desire. Surely you must one day give your head a shake and say “Hey, wait a minute, this isn’t love.” That’s right, it isn’t. Love is joyous, happy and enriching. No, Jealousy is NOT love.

Are YOU jealous?

Sometimes I am.

LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS.

Now here is an illness that is a true example of blaming the other person for what you are capable of doing yourself - and probably will - or maybe even have. People who are suspicious can only be that way because the very thing they are suspicious of is what they are capable of doing themselves. Suspicion eats at the heart, gradually destroying every bit of trust that may have already been built up in the relationship. You can’t hide suspicion because it drives you inwards. As you go more inward your mate will often ask, “What’s wrong?” You can’t answer as you would give your illness away. Even the fact that they have asked you what is wrong makes you even more suspicious as in the example of “Why would they ask what is wrong? They must be hiding something?” But you see, it is you that has something wrong. You are hiding your guilt by blaming someone else for what you have already done, planning on doing or are thinking about doing. Suspicion is an evil little repository of guilt. Check it out. Look in to your self and see if what you are blaming your partner for is something that you have already done or thought about doing. Of course, understanding suspicion can work to your benefit too because if your partner is suspicious of you, it gives you clues into what they have done or are thinking of doing. No, suspicion is NOT love.

Are YOU suspicious?

Sometimes I am.