Long Distance Relationships: Make It Work

Love: Divine and Divided

Everything you’ve ever read, heard or seen in the movies about long-distance relationships is true: They’re risky, they’re challenging… and they can be the most rewarding time of your life. LDR’s aren’t for everyone, but for many who are forced to decide between maintaining the relationship across the expanse between you and ending it altogether, the choice becomes obvious.

Set the Ground Rules

Long-distance relationships may well be the epitome of hope and romance, but injecting a little common sense never hurt anyone. Setting some rules and expectations might lead to an awkward conversation, but one that is absolutely necessary for your relationship to survive.

You’ll want to begin by defining the scope of the relationship. You might think it’s a foregone conclusion but it’s important that you verbally agree on exclusivity: are you exclusive or is dating outside the relationship is an option? Are you engaged, boyfriend and girlfriend or are you just seeing each other? Defining the scope of the relationship helps determine the level of maintenance required, and overcoming the obstacle of who does what and when is more than half the battle.

You should also discuss the possibility of one or both of you relocating at some point in time during the relationship. Who is most likely to move and what will they do when they get there? Will one of you move to where the other is or will both of you meet somewhere in the middle? Deciding who moves where and when takes a lot of the pressure off and eliminates the anxiety of both of you wondering about this to yourselves.

Make the Time

Now that most of the hard decisions are made it’s time to have some fun! What can two people separated by thousands of miles do together, you ask? Plenty, and we’re not just talking about phone calls. (Speaking of, to keep your long distance charges and your cell phone minutes under control, we suggest you look into the many free Internet phone and video chat services available.)

Send her a card just because you were thinking of her or send him a gift certificate for snacks and munchies in time for the big game. You can watch television shows or movies together and chat about them over the phone or Internet. There are a couple of dozen sites around the web where you can play board games, card games or word games together and chat in real time. You can even play multiplayer games together through game consoles like the Xbox or PS3, again with real-time chat and possibly real-time video as well. The only limit is your imagination.

Communicate Every Day

The most important thing is you must make time to communicate every day, or at least almost every day. You already have to overcome the physical distance between you, don’t compound the problem by letting an emotional distance gain a foothold in your relationship. It doesn’t have to be much: A good morning e-mail or a “thinking of you” text message, or maybe a goodnight kiss video chat. Whatever the message or the medium, make it sincere and make it as often as possible.

In this economy long distance relationships are becoming more and more common and technology is making it easier than ever for long-distance relationships to thrive. If you’re faced with this dilemma we encourage you to embrace the challenge; there might be a few more obstacles to overcome but the rewards will more than make up for the effort.