I Was Just a Child

It started with you touching me, in places that you shouldn’t have.
You told me that it was alright, then why did it feel so bad?
The world for me was joy and bliss, until the day you started this.
I hated myself through and through, when you made me do those things to you.
If grown-ups do such horrid things, I’d rather be a child forever.
But then, if people like you exist, will a child be safe ever?
Why did you do this to me?
Why did you rape my innocence?
You killed my body, soul and mind, you robbed me of all my sense.
I tried to shout, I tried to scream, I wish it was just a ghastly dream.
But the scars that you left on my soul, will never again let me be whole.
I lost faith in faith, trust in trust, the day you turned my body to dust.
At first I tried to resist it all, but gradually I embraced my fall.
It makes me shudder, it makes me cry.
Why didn’t you just let me die?
I wish I could undo all the pain.
I wish I was pure once again.
My mind is a mess; my life is in chains.
I’m covered all over in your dirty stains.
Will I suffer the nightmares all my life,
Or will I be able to win this strife?
I hope God saw what you did to me.
I hope He felt my misery through all these years.
I don’t have the strength to face you now, but I hope God takes vengeance for all my tears.
You found pleasure in my despair, but for me it was too much to bear.
You were evil, you were wild.
But why me?
I was just a child!
I know I am not the only one.
There are others who have suffered much like me.
Is there someone strong enough?
To set me and the others free?

***

Note On Child Sexual Abuse*

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent. In addition to direct sexual contact, child sexual abuse also occurs when an adult exposes their genitals to a child, asks or pressures a child to engage in sexual activities, displays pornography to a child, or uses a child to produce child pornography. Effects of child sexual abuse include depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, propensity to re-victimization in adulthood, and physical injury to the child, among other problems. Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.

Approximately 20% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children. Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; women commit approximately 14% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls. Most offenders who abuse pre-pubescent children are pedophiles, however a small percentage do not meet the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia. Under the law, “child sexual abuse” is an umbrella term describing criminal and civil offenses in which an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor or exploits a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification. An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act which never can be considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.

*Source : Wikipedia