Will you marry you? or someone like you?

Would you marry yourself or someone like you? Do you like the person you are and what you have to offer, enough to marry yourself?
I asked a friend who kept whinning over the past relationships he has had an kept sulking on it. People have this urge to complain without pondering over their true state of being. It is quite impossible for a self to evaluate the grounds self stands on. Obviously you can take a paper and a pen and jot points you are looking for in a partner. I have done it and it obviously is not too stupid. Stupid is when you compromise over all the points you tick and end up with a complete opposite, being hopeful that you can bring about that ‘tick’ in his life and it will start working magic thereafter.
No magic happens in relationships. This is a blunt and harsh fact, none of us want to face. How does it work? what will work and what wont? How to pick a partner for marriage? Is it okay to kiss on a first date? Is it okay to hold hands? Is PDA birth right? These questions are quizzes put out by the mind to acquire answers which suit what you believe in.
Getting back to the point. The friend I asked, simply exclaimed ‘HELL NO!’ and I could not hold my laughter and the look on his face tightened further.
There are two sides to each one of us. There is a bright side and a dark side. Our dark sides are so neatly tucked away that when we come face to face with someone who has similar black spots, we turn away. Why so? Are they not human as much as you are?
Nevertheless, this interrogation went a step ahead. He looked at me, with eyes that were on flames. ‘How so is that important?’
‘You mean you is not important?’ I am usually a fanatic when it comes to perfect relationships. I hate answering the how why and whats but I sure take a pleasure in making someone look in the mirror and realize their short comings. There is no better way a friend can help. If she or he doesnt help you, I wonder why they are friends.
So the list we were considering. This list has everything which you seek in a partner you can spend your life with [stop fooling yourselves, to know someone is one thing, to live with someone is another, wake up now and cut the long show short].
As scary as it is to not know oneself or the partner we are looking towards for really serious bonds, it is more scary when the points you jotted on that blank paper have your selfishness written all over it. You have none of it and yet you seek for it. How can you possibly think you deserve something as grand on that paper? Have you checked your mirror ever? Have you seen that the reflection which stares at you is all black and there is no spark about it? Why so the complain ‘Oh women are so mean they use me and dump me?’
Believe it or not, i have been really rude, but this rudeness has paid my friend something worth it. He does not complain anymore and he's looking to improve himself. I had bluntly told him that even I would not pursue anything with him beyond friends. This is not how one should say it to everyone, but friends know what you mean when you say something. It is obviously for the good of it all.
For starters we are weak, and we first and foremost focus on what our partner will offer rather what we are to offer them. Are you that emotionally stable and available like you say you want your partner to be? Will you be there when she is all depressed about how she looks and what your friends think about her? If you cant take criticism, why should she be taking it? Just because you are a man and it is your birth right to constantly criticize her?
This is just a start to a life long critical analysis of self. But these are essential for getting acquainted with self in the same way we want to acquaint with a partner. Only when I like the persona I carry and that which is inside and outside of me, will I be able to give out positive vibes that will help me bond permanently and no one will leae me. I have learned it the hard way but this is very true. Negatives showing more than the positives we seek, minuses partner than adds one. The journey is tough but it is worth it.

“When we accept and love our qualities without seeking to acquire them, we form the strongest foundation for intimacy.”

Moral: Take what you seek in your partner seriously in yourself. There is nothing which can work better than that to build and keep building. Once you block your curiosities about yourself and focus on just seeking, that is when the thunderbolt hits and everything shatters and she will leave you again!

All the best.